There's Always A First
by Macx
Summary: moviefic, set in my Imperfection 'verse. Jazz POV over the time, from seeing Barricade the very first time to today. There are a lot of 'firsts'.


TITLE: There's Always a First  
SERIES: Imperfection  
AUTHOR: Macx  
RATING: PG-13  
DISCLAIMER: None of the characters belong to me, sadly. They are owned by people with a lot more money :)  
Author's Voice of Warning (aka Author's Note):  
English is not my first language; it's German. This is the best I can do. Any mistakes you find in here, collect them and you might win a prize The spell-checker said everything's okay, but you know how trustworthy those thingies are...  
FEEDBACK: Loved

It's one of those one-hour-fics. I didn't plan it, didn't even think of something like it, and still it happened. My typical brain farts. Hope you like nevertheless.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

The first time Jazz saw Barricade it was on Cybertron, outside a meeting between the Lord Protector of Cybertron and the Head of State. The other mech was standing across the room, red optics revealing no emotions, face a mask. He didn't look like one of the most dangerous soldiers of Megatron, but shock troopers had a reputation. They were rarely seen within the cities. The shock troopers were deadly hunters and dangerous foes, as one of Jazz's friends had told him.

Jazz was impressed. For about five minutes and then he had turned to his more pressing matters.  
Secretly he wondered about them, about this one he had only briefly glanced in the crowd.

He seemed somehow special, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

°°° °°° °°°

The first time Jazz met Barricade was after feeling the other's optics on him for weeks. He had become aware of Barricade watching him, sometimes following him, and while it was a strange feeling, Jazz hadn't felt threatened. Barricade served Megatron, was one of the most trusted of mechs to the Lord Protector.

Jazz was curious, though.

What did the other want from him?

Why him?

Why never talk to him, just watch?

Was it something shock troopers did? Was it something only Barricade did?

And why did Jazz feel this strange pull, as if he had known Barricade already and couldn't pin-point where from?

So when he finally had enough Jazz approached the mechanoid who was about his own size. By size he wasn't really threatening, but his skills made up for that. He could take down a lot larger opponents.

A part of Jazz warned him, repeated word by word what he had heard and read about shock troopers. They were ruthless, dangerous, not to be taken lightly. Never approach one without good reason unless you wanted your limbs torn off.

Another was unconcerned. Why, he wouldn't say.

Their first meeting was brief, intense, and ended in a storage cabinet -- and the realization that their sparks resonated perfectly within the other.

As first meetings in person went, this one was spectacular.

°°° °°° °°°

The first time they Shared deeply was in a private place chosen by Barricade. Knowing they shared one spark had been one thing, but this impulse to open up, to let another into that most private of places, was overwhelming. It was like a revelation. Jazz had never felt this free, so much like flying, as if nothing he had ever worried about really existed. Compared to the beauty of this connection, everything else faded away. There were no lies within the bond, no subterfuge, no hiding and no deception. He looked at the real Barricade, at the spark that was so much like his own it was unbelievable.

There were no walls at all. This was one's pure self. All the darkness and all the light. Beautiful, enticing, perfect to Jazz's optics. And when he touched the incredible spark, it resonated deeply.

There was an absolute trust between them. Nothing could upset that. Not Jazz's happy-go-lucky outward appearance, not Barricade's gruff, unapproachable and dangerous air.

They knew each other.

He would never let this feeling go.

°°° °°° °°°

The first time Jazz saw the sleek, black protoform he felt something inside of him open up in recognition, aware of so many details, just before Barricade changed his camouflage. Touching the new outer shell was nothing like touching the basic form, the high density metal that made all their transformation processes possible.

Things were changing on Cybertron. There was an uproar everywhere, just beneath the surface, and Barricade was right in the middle of it.

°°° °°° °°°

The first time they met after the war broke out, Barricade bore the Decepticon symbol. Jazz felt no betrayal. This was his partner and he knew nothing he could do or say would change Barricade's mind; just like he would never turn from the Autobots. He also knew about honor and duty and serving who he was sworn to.

Their encounter was intense, too brief, hidden in an old hangar, between wrecked shuttles. There had been no talk about the war, just them, so close, so painfully aware of their problematic situation, and still there was no hesitation. Jazz trusted Barricade, despite everything.

°°° °°° °°°

The first time Jazz was afraid to meet Barricade was when the Ark encountered the Nemesis over the Ghost 1. Optimus Prime knew of his first lieutenant's spark bond and he had never asked anything of him, never a betrayal. But should Barricade attack any of his friends, Jazz would retaliate. He wouldn't stand by and watch his partner kill a friend.

It didn't come to that, though Jazz came close to being off-lined permanently by Blackout. He had been lucky. And Barricade had faced other opponents.

But that time had been bad. He had spent hours in his quarters aboard the transport vessel, thinking. Theirs was a complicated relationship and Jazz had it in his systems that things would get more complicated in the future.

°°° °°° °°°

The first time Jazz saw Barricade on Earth he marvelled at the chosen camouflage. It was sheer power and beauty, just what Barricade resembled inside their bond. He wanted to go out and touch the sleek Saleen, run his fingers over the paint job. He felt his spark shiver with the need to be close. It had been so long and Barricade was so near.

There was no time, though. None at all. Stolen moments, never close. A brief burst of something shivering along the bond, like a promise to be with Jazz when this was over, one way or another.

Jazz kept the memory close, the image of that perfect camouflage, the very essence of Barricade's spark.

°°° °°° °°°

The first time Jazz saw Barricade after he had been brought back from the dead he had just barely held back from expressing all his hopes and joys. He had gazed at the so different looking shock trooper, felt his spark pulse, felt the answering echo.

He had looked into red optics that had been filled with cold acceptance, a surrender that was unlike the fierce warrior soul he knew Barricade possessed, and he knew that his death had brought that on.

He would never have believed it.

He had seen it with his own optics.

And Jazz wanted nothing more than to be alone, Share, express everything he couldn't show well enough otherwise.

°°° °°° °°°

The first time Jazz noticed the ever-expanding bond, he was surprised and slightly baffled. He had never thought there could be more than they had had. It was already intense.

But it was growing deeper.

Because they were finally allowing all their guards to fall. There was no hiding and running and surviving against enemy forces any more. Earth had given them a, maybe temporary but still very much appreciated, haven.

Sharing was no longer a quick joining between enemy line. It was without the danger of being discovered, and Jazz felt more of his spark come alive than ever before.

°°° °°° °°°

The first time Barricade showed a different side from his usually rather hostile and aggressive self, Jazz knew things were truly changing. He watched the former Decepticon interact with none other than Sam Witwicky, and he smiled to himself.

When Barricade caught that smile, he glowered at him.

::Ease up, Cade:: he sent, using their fine connection.

::Shut up, Autobot::

Jazz laughed and shook his head.

It felt so good. It felt like nothing else could or ever would. This was his alone and he would never let it go again.


End file.
